Kar is off to Beijing!!

  Yes, i will be taking the red eye tonight and i’m pretty excited about this trip though i’ve been to beijing before. However before everything else, i must blog about my night out with the girls on Friday as well as my standard chartered marathon with darling baby.

  Friday was an all girls outing for Ql, Yt and i were all ready for an awesome night at St James Power Station. I was lucky for a didn’t have to pay a single cent for entrance which saved me alot of money especially at a time like this. Ha ha We drank, danced and had lots of fun though we were the pathetic three. I may not enjoy clubbing but i was glad to have gone with the girls. For illustrations, please visit qiaolin or yiting’s blog as i didnt bring my camera that night.

  Completed my standard chartered 10KM in an hour and 10minutes which was quite a feat considering the fact that i normally take an hour and a half to complete it. My legs are hurting like crazy and i think i need a break from running. I guess i’m not going to run such long distances in the near future so i guess my hourly exercise at ECP would have to wait till a later date. I had fun nonetheless. Thank you my sweet baby for accompanying me. I love you so much.

  I will be gone for a week and i know there will be people whom i will miss dearly. Darling baby, please take extra care of yourself. I love you and i will be back before you know it. To the girls, though i will only see you in 2 weeks, i’m already counting down to the days i see you again. Till then!!!

Its a brand new start

  Yup, i’m feeling much better thanks to the concern shown by many. I’m slowly beginning to accept the fact that he’s gone, slowly recovering from my bout of flu and cough. Life is fragile in more ways than one. Cherish your loved ones beside you for you may never know when’s the last time you will ever hear from them, touch them or feel their presence.

  Had an enjoyable outing with my girls despite feeling rather lethargic at the start. Woke up at an unearthly 630am to prepare for my jog at ECP, then its off to three hours of tuition before meeting the girls. We were suddenly crazy, cracking nonsensical jokes, talking about the past, the present and the future.

  Oh, and we started talking about the BONUS we’re about to receive come december 12th! Looking at the amount we’ll be getting, we can’t help but raise our expectations a little higher. Instead of Mango tops, we aimed an armani exchange top. Instead of a topshop dress, we aimed a FCUK dress which costs a freaking $170 (which i may get it for myself). A pair of charles and keith high heeled shoes caught my eye but now i’m thinking, would the coach sneakers that i saw yesterday be better? Ha ha ha. Just joking. Not yet ready to dump those moolahs into the mud.

  However, i’m still going to reward myself nonetheless. Ql asked me to set up a wishlist for those who have yet to figure out what to buy for my birthday. Then again, i rather not as those items cost more than a hundred bucks. Vouchers are acceptable nonetheless. Call me materialistic for wanting such branded goods. That’s part of growing up isn’t it? We all live once, who knows? I may only have this chance to get a top from armani exchange and FCUK. Ha ha.

  I realised my blog’s been really boring, without pictures. Havent had the chance to take really nice photographs of my self but will promise pictures from Beijing when i come back! Can’t wait for this trip with my family. It has been 4 years since i last went on a trip with them. What’s most important would be that daddy’s going to be paying for the entire trip! I’m a happy girl!

  Standard Chartered marathon in a week. I really can’t wait to get my butt on that running track. I can’t wait! Hopefully i will beat my own record. However, before everything else, there is GESL to conquer.

A soft spot in my heart for you

  I would love to say the past week went by fine but it hasn’t.

  By not fine, i don’t mean that i haven’t had the best 4 days of my life with darling.

  By not fine, i dont mean that the bbq with the girls wasn’t a success. In fact, it was so fun i wished we could have more of it again.

  But the events that happened yesterday temporarily erased any happy moments for the past one week.

  Vincent has passed on. He looked peaceful lying in that coffin. I felt guilty and remorseful when i looked at him one last time. All those bittersweet memories rushed in like nobodies business. All the times i could have met him but i couldn’t. All the times i could have just driven to his place but i couldn’t. Then again, it may not neccessarily be a bad thing. His suffering is over. However, i will miss him and i always will.

Bored to tears

  Well, liberation may not be a good thing afterall. It’s just a week into my holidays and i’m dying to get out of it. Not that holidays aren’t good, not that sleeping in isn’t good and obviously having nothing to be stressed about for the entire week is G-O-O-D but there isn’t an aim right now! I’ve thought of a thousand things to do before holidays, when i’m in the midst of rushing my assignments but now that hols are here, i don’t realise any of them, or rather, i don’t remember what i had previously planned to do.

  One good thing for this week, however, would be the fact that darling has taken 2 days off his work, meaning a long weekend for the both of us starting this thurs. Lots of things planned for us this weekend and hopefully, we do make the best out of this week!

  Bought a top online today. It has been eons since i last got hooked onto online shopping. Guess the shopping bug has hit me what with christmas and new year celebrations coming up. Another reason to shop would be that the year end sale is coming!!! More reasons to spend those moolahs.

  I guess clubbing is more or less confirmed on the 4th of december. Interested parties are free to join the newbies namely, qiaolin, yiting and i. You can actually save us from mopping around aimlessly at the club, staring looking at party girls dressed to the nines and maybe have some fun with us on the dance floor. ha ha.

  This paragraph is dedicated to the two most important people in my life. Thank you for sharing everything with me, thank you for being there for me whenever i needed you. The past one month hasn’t been easy but it would have been harder to pass if not for the both of you. I love you guys so much and i will forever treasure this friendship.

Yiting’s 20th birthday!

  As promised, photos on yiting’s birthday will be up in this post! We started the day early at 1pm for our singing session at AMK. It was freezing cold over at the place that we left an hour early. Slacked at Macs before heading back to qiaolin’s house to bathe and then off we went to Zouk!

  I hope our dearest Yt enjoyed herself yesterday. It was a night of firsts for us and i was terribly excited about being there with my dears. Well, shall just let the pictures do all the talking…

Just one more day!

  One more day to Yt’s birthday celebration! One more day to an inaugural clubbing experience for her! One more day to 5 hours of non-stop singing!

  I’m looking forward to it. Let’s all get drunk and be merry in the club though there’s a high chance that i will be the only one drinking and having fun.

  Finally bought Yt’s present yesterday. I’m sure she must be really interested and excited to know what it is! You would never guess what it is my dear, not in a million years!!!

Feeling liberated!

  Like finally! Exams are finally over and holidays have officially started for me! However, as quoted from Qiaolin, flu and fever have plagued our celebrations.

  Headed down to Holland Village after our exams. What we thought would be a happy celebration turned out to be a quick and casual dinner as we were all rushing home to nurse our flu or fever. I’m still feeling a little sick today. I hate it when my nose is runny.

  Been catching 《不凡的爱》recently and that got me thinking. People claim that aids are not contagious, everyone knows that. But if one were to stand on close proximity with an aids patient, would they still be scared? I’m not talking about handsome aids patient like chen hanwei but normal ordinary patients. I doubt it. I sometimes ask myself this question and end up being truly disgusted by my finding.

  However, i shall not dwell too much. One and a half months to christmas!

Recollections

Someone once said, recollections marks the end of something. Yup, perhaps right now, the end is nearing and thus this post for recollections. Perhaps, in my opinion, its really going to end soon and thus i’ve been thinking back on every single thing that i have done for you, every single bit of hurt that i’ve felt ever since i got together with you.

There was once when i thought that no matter how much i felt or did, you wouldnt be bothered. I still remembered you telling me that with your friends there for you, nothing else mattered, not even the sweet cupcakes that i sent you. Not appreciating them, nor even bearing to look at them for another second, you passed it on to them. They didn’t feel a thing while they hungrily devoured that cupcake sent with love. Not caring for the love from the cupcake, you looked nonchalant while they ate it all up. How hurtful that felt, no one knew.

You said you couldnt live without them though i told you my stand. How hard i tried, wanting to fit in, wanting to share whatever happiness you got out of them. Silly me, doing all these while you couldn’t give a fuck. I tried nonetheless. I tried very hard. Thinking of ways to cajole them into liking me, liking whatever hobbies you shared with them. Even sitting through boring matches just so that i could spend more time with them or maybe picking up all the courage i’ve got just to sing a few lines. Didn’t all these mean a thing?

I remembered planning months before for that special day. People say i’m stupid, people ask why i would want to spend that last penny on it. I told them, i didn’t care for i just wanted someone to be happy. I remembered scouring all the possible restaurants which i think you may like. Shortlisting this out, cancelling on the other. All the preparations that i did, i don’t think you felt it. All my love, it just fell into the drain.

Now you’re telling me a different story, that i am restricting you. That i have made you distant yourself from them. I’ve told you my stand many a time but you couldn’t understand. Maybe if i really did what you had done, you may have felt it differently. However, everything may change if you had the courage to tell some people. But you didn’t.

Happily ever after really doesn’t apply to us anymore. You’ve said it countless times but i couldn’t feel the sincerity. Like what i always like to tell my friends, do not ever regret your actions. I guess the only regret from ending this would be the fact that i will never get to hear you call me something which i’ve earned, at least for the past one year. Never once has it left your mouth. It’s alright, i guess i’m just not fated to be that girl.

Back once again

  Yup, i’m back once again to post my daily thoughts and feelings. I’m beginning to hate exams. I dread it totally. Then again, who loves exams in the first place? I got reminded back to my Ngee Ann Poly days when i only had one paper to mug for and that would be chinese literature but now, i’ve got three papers to study for and i’ve got absolutely no clue what is to be tested!!

  I want everything to be over soon and i love my girls so much. Thank you for being there for me.

Current mood : sian

 

  I was really quite happy when school ended yesterday cos that marked the start of my three day study break before exam on Friday. However, just hours into Tuesday, i find myself wishing that i had school. I guess i’m just not the stay home kinda girl. Not today at least. Was desperately trying to find people to go out with me, even for prata. The boyfriend’s forever busy and i hate to be stucked at home, mugging my never ending chinese notes.

  Seriously, i feel the pressure as i look through the pile of notes. I am just hoping that i finish this week in one complete piece. I can’t wait for next monday to come, i can’t wait for everything to be over.

  Just some food for thought : will everything really be over the way you want it to be? Will everything and anything go your way? No matter how much you try to avoid, there will be things or people who just keep coming back into your life. Would it then be up to you to decide if you want to keep it or not? Or is it that person’s fault who keeps trying to squeeze his or her way back into your life? I wonder whose fault it would be, ultimately.

  Don’t wanna think about such negative things as yet.

  I can’t help but feel down today. I felt that i’ve done my part but sometimes things just don’t work out the way i want it to be. Am i being overly sensitive? Or are you running for your lives the moment you see me? I think i’ve done my best in this relationship. I feel that you support me sometimes but at times, i feel so lost. We were a crowd but it appears that i’m the only one left standing now. Or could it be due to the exam stress? The never ending assignments? I wonder…

  Tuition tonight again, its never ending. I’m getting more and more demoralized by the day. Sometimes i wonder why i still continue teaching when they are not in the least interested. No matter how hard i try, they would never appreciate it. Isn’t this the case for all the relationships that i’ve been through, be it relationships and friendships?

  Today’s just a really bad day. I want everything to be over SOON